When I meet a friend’s friend and they leave us alone together
i dont want a job i just want paychecks
Where were you?
Did you know?
Who are we to you?
i just realized tater tots is short for potato toddlers and i don’t know how i feel about that
i just saw an ad that was probably supposed to say accident lawyers but it said accidental lawyers and i can’t sotp laughing “just got my law degree aw man this wasn’t what i meant to do how am i gonna get out of this one”
how do i politely ask him to slam me against a wall and make out with me
I was always glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever paid him.
my dying words better be “im going ghost”
no offense but i want to set you on fire
do you ever just realize
i really fucking love the lord of the rings